My story is a little different to many donor-offspring I know of, yet the feelings, emotions, and endless questions involved I’m sure are shared by all those involved in Donor-Conception. I became aware of my biological origins three years ago by mistake, turning all my securities, beliefs and identity upside-down.

My parents divorced when I was three years old and the contact I had with my father was few and far between. When I left home at 18, I decided to track my father down after 6 years of searching to no avail. After finally making contact with him and a couple of months of trying to re-build our relationship, he told my best friend (in my absence) that he was not my real father and not to tell me because I didn’t know.

After a few days of contemplating whether to tell me or not, my friend finally told me the conversation she’d had with my father. My reaction took her by surprise – I laughed! I didn’t believe it as my father often lied and I thought he was just saying it to hurt me. Re-laying the whole incident to my mother in a casual conversation left me in a state of complete shock when she admitted that it was actually true. Knowing next to nothing about the topic of donor-conception added to my feeling of isolation and loneliness. With a thousand questions and no known source to retrieve answers from, I sought the hospital where I was conceived only to discover that there were no medical records as my donor was anonymous.

This was the beginning of a journey I am still on, and at times feel like I haven’t moved an inch. I am overcome by the complete lack of information on my donor and am still searching for answers. I am aware of one half-sibling, but there could be many.

In my opinion, assisted reproduction is an invaluable process enabling families to achieve their dreams of becoming parents, provided an attitude of openness and honesty is adopted. Children already experience enough emotion and uncertainty as a normal part of discovering their identities, strengths and weaknesses without the very security of their origins being questioned.

Danielle.